Because I really liked my yard this year

Three years ago we redid our landscaping. With cute little plants and flowers. There was still so much space between them that I imagined all I would ever be doing was weeding. Jason Lowe (master landscaper) assured me they would grow and eventually fill in all of that extra space. Last year they were a little bit bigger. I was still skeptical. This summer they exploded into full, beautiful plants. They have exposed their true, glorious identity- and I am in love. I love the colors, the fragrances, the textures and even the sounds. Every morning, hundred of bees congregate on the purple clover. At least once a day, hummingbirds hover by the honeysuckle. The scented geraniums cause me to breathe deeply. Our patio has become our "extra family room" that eases so much of the congestion in the kitchen as we are outside every chance we get.

In an attempt at keeping things real I will say that rarely a day has gone by that I don't have dirt under my fingernails. Every time I am outside (even walking from the garage to the house) my eye is subconsciously scanning the ground for weeds, flowers in need of deadheading, and watering issues. And as vigilant as I think I am, I am amazed that there always seems to be some giant weed(s) mocking my naive belief that I "finally got them all." And all of those sweet little critters-the squirrels, the hummingbirds, the ducks in the creek, the vast varieties of birds (including owls) have recently (at least in my mind) been joined by fat, ugly, beady- eyed rats. It's almost enough to make me want to start over. Come back little owls. Come on over neighborhood kitties. Come join us for a snack in my beautiful yard.

A Happy Ending

We had a couple of hours before our flight left on our last day in New York. Walking out of hotel room that morning, we discovered a street fair setting up. It was the perfect happy ending to our trip.

It must be Love

The text read, "clear your calendar from Friday night to Sunday night. I want to take you away for your birthday." *sigh* Is that sweet or what? I know I'm going to disappoint a lot of people when I tell you that my first reaction was not one of excitement and enthusiasm but something more like this:

"This weekend? Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea what we have going on this weekend? Gabe has not one but two soccer games and a soccer party, it is our turn to put up flags for September 11th, Christian is playing a tennis match and has Homecoming and we are in charge of the neighborhood Walk and Talk. We can't possibly be gone. Who am I going to get to cover the myriad of carpools and events?"

I am happy to report that my sweet husband never knew of my evil thoughts because I pulled myself together as I thought about the implications of my reaction and my decision. How often does my husband do something like this? (Rarely. O.K. never) Is there ever a good weekend to be gone?(no) And the clincher.. was that I have been praying for an opportunity to feel closer to my husband. Certainly there has been no animosity or hard feelings between us. It's more a lack of opportunity due to time and distance and...let's be honest... technology. "They" say the definition of an idiot is someone who does the same thing over and over again hoping for a different result. I regret to admit that for the past long while in my quest for better communication with my husband I qualified perfectly. Lucky for me, the Lord heard my prayers and blessed me with two good friends whose patience and example have pricked my conscience and opened my eyes. I may still be squinting somewhat, but I can definitely see better. As it turns out, the mote I thought was in my eye was really a beam and the responsibility and opportunity falls to me to make a change. This trip only helped to solidify my resolve. It was a sweet, sweet birthday for me.

And the location of our getaway? Let's just say we had a BALL!!

THE 2010 U.S. OPEN

Have you ever seen the show, Monk? About an obsessive compulsive detective? One of his quirks is that he has to count everything to make sure that they are in even numbers. This guy was the real deal. He was counting the tennis balls on this airplane. No kidding.

The slogan for this years Open was "It must be Love." Fitting, I thought.

Don't hate me, but we had tickets to the semi-finals. Nadal and Youzhny and Federer and Djokovic

Weekend Bliss

He arranged a surprise weekend getaway for just the two of us. And well..I guess you could say it was just...bliss.

more later...

Fairy Festival

These Hands..

...are made for picking. Blackberries. Doesn't look like much in that bowl? You try navigating the angry, thorny arms of a blackberry bush!
These days those 16 year old hands are also made for driving...and doing push ups and wielding a tennis racquet and using a pencil to navigate math problems and taking out the trash and giving his dad a dead leg and texting a cute girl and tossing blackberries at his mom while she calls out directions for his hands to fight the thorns.

My alarm went off at 6:00 this morning. I hit the snooze and then laid there for a split second before realizing that I didn't hear Christian up and getting ready. I hopped out of bed and proceeded to be the mom alarm that I promised I wouldn't be this semester. Downstairs, I met with Gabe who was already practicing guitar and started making Christian's lunch. I sent Christian off with signed disclosure forms and checks for "extras" in several classes and then focused on Gabe. Breakfast, scriptures, hair,teeth, lunch, bed, sign that last form, listen to him proudly recite his phone number in French and remind him about his lesson right after school. As the door shut behind him I turned my attention to my now soggy cereal, pulled my book a little closer and giddily prepared to have a few minutes of solitude. My quiet and my enthusiasm was shattered as Jordan came downstairs and on his way out the door asked,

"What do you do all day?"
To which I promptly responded, "?"
"Maybe you should get a job," he said as he closed the door.

Okay. Is it just me or are "them's fighting words?!"
Of course as soon as he drove away I thought of about 20 really good comebacks. "What do I do all day?!" "How 'bout make your life easier??" So.. maybe not really good comebacks but anything would have been better than my blank stare and dropped jaw.
But, the moment was gone and I was left to think upon (or stew over) his question all day.

Allllll day...as I loaded the breakfast dishes, tried to exercise, put away storage bags the girls left unused in their packing frenzy the day before, returned Christian's shorts to Old Navy, picked up Jordan's jacket from the dry cleaner, vacuumed out the car and made pesto from the basil in my garden. Then the boys got home and the real fun began. (No..of course I don't feel like I need to justify...)

I wondered what it was that really pricked that defensive nerve. Was it that I really didn't feel as though what I did all day was valuable or was it that I was upset that Jordan couldn't seem to see-let alone appreciate- what I did all day or was it...that somewhere in my psyche I believed that if you had a job and and actually ENJOYED it then you were somehow cheating? That for me to count this as time well spent then I would have to spend at least a portion of the hours in my day feeling somewhat miserable in order for my job, my life, to be considered meaningful? Because here's my secret...I love being home. I enjoy it. I would rather be home than on vacation (though I realize the value in those). And maybe, just maybe, I feel a little bit guilty about it. The truth is..I like hanging out with my kids. I like that I can be here if and when they bring friends home for lunch. I like that I had the flexibility to head down south to move my girls in on Tuesday. I like that I can help Christian come up with a way to ask a girl to homecoming or watch (spy) him interact with a cute girl out on the tramp. I like being around if anyone needs homework help, to be able to have my nieces or nephews over, to host a wedding, to chat with my brother while he does his laundry, to make bread, or pancakes or spend time discussing classes or boys or anxieties or trials. Let's be honest, though. Just because you enjoy doing something doesn't mean that it is always fun or easy. My head is usually swimming with thoughts or concerns about each of my kids and my husband. But I always come back to the same place....I enjoy what I do. I love being a mom,wife,sister,daughter,niece and friend. And I love that I get to focus on those roles from home. Deep down I know. This is where I should be. This is where I want to be. And my overwhelming gratitude goes out to my husband-that very same antagonist- who has made it possible.